Marriage rates in the US have been declining since 2011, with more adults choosing to build a life with a partner without getting married. Over the past 30 years, the number of unmarried US adults cohabiting in a relationship has more than doubled. Yet the laws governing our finances in the US are still skewed to benefit married couples.My partner, Stefan, and I are part of that trend. At 41 and 38, respectively, Stefan and I have lived together for 14 years and have no intention of marrying. Over the years, we’ve bumped up against a system that doesn’t know what to do with our relationship status — like the time we had to provide a notarized affidavit confirming our relationship status to enroll him in my employer’s health insurance plan, while my married coworkers didn’t experience the same hurdles. In 2023, we bought our first house together. As time goes on, we’ve had to think more and more about how we’re managing money and ownership of assets. Much of what’s assumed for married couples isn’t as simple for unmarried partners, so we have to be intentional about our financial plans.I spoke with a few experts to get their tips on the best way for couples to navigate managing money when they’re unmarried.📋 Create a plan for daily expensesThe first thing any couple has to decide is whether to merge their finances or keep them separate. You can do either regardless of your marital status, but being unmarried makes it easier to keep your finances totally separate if you want to.Stefan and I merged some of our finances shortly after moving in together. We share a single bank account that we use to get paid and to pay all of our bills. We’re also both self-employed and have business finances we manage separately, which lets us maintain some financial independence.”You may not want to merge everything,” said Melody Evans, a financial advisor and CFP of retirement company TIAA. “I recommend couples keep one bank account separate for each of them.”Keeping all or some of your finances separate could protect you in case the relationship ends. That’s broadly true for married couples, too, but an unmarried couple doesn’t have the aid of a divorce decree to split assets if you separate. Delineating ownership throughout the relationship could help you avoid legal headaches down the line.💰Talk about your debt”The biggest challenge [for couples] is deciding how to handle shared finances without tying yourself too closely to someone else’s debts,” said Ned Priestly, CEO at lender MQL.As you consider how you’ll manage day-to-day spending and household costs together, talk candidly about debts, too. If either of you bring loans or credit card debt into the household, how much will you tackle it together? Do you prefer to let debts remain individual liabilities? How will that impact whether and how you combine finances?”For unmarried couples, clarity is key,” said Priestly. “Lay everything out on the table early and set agreements about who pays for what
Sab. Gen 18th, 2025
